I meet with Maggie tonight - the woman who recently asked me to support her on her journey in recovery and to whom initially I said no as I felt overloaded.
I am so glad I changed my mind.
She is committed, intelligent and resourceful and is already doing very well on her particular journey. We have a great talk before we walk onto a Support Group meeting together. I am chairing this particular meeting, and so Maggie sits with another of my young friends Leslie. Whenever I look over and see them side by side, I feel very moved.
But Angie is struggling - badly. When she rings me, she spends the whole time crying and blaming everyone else for her present situation. I am finding the balance between compassionate kindness and plain speaking a constant challenge. But instinctively I know that Angie needs very firm and unambiguous guidance if she is to recover.
I tell all these women that I am only another human being like them. That I do not have all the answers, and that I can only do my best for them. And yes - sometimes I feel afraid that I will fail them in some way, but I know that the part I play is only a small one.
What I cannot convey to these women, however, is how much they are helping me. How much they have succeeded in reducing the self-obsession, and hurt, and upset around my workplace issues; and how much they have encouraged me to just focus on recovery, and staying well.
They are stimulating, motivating, enthusiastic and inspirational. And their questions keep me constantly on my toes.
Thank you Maggie, Leslie, Francis. And thank you Angie - for reminding me of how tormenting, baffling and powerful our shared illness is.
I hope you make it.
I hope and pray you do.
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