Good Days and Bad Days

Mental Health First Aid training today. Oh - and tomorrow !

That's two whole days when I have a glorious excuse to steer clear of the Slough of Despond, and mix it with colleagues from other departments. Woo hoo !!

The trainers are perky, lively women who both hail from outside the UK, and many of the participants are from the Council's front line services. So the discussions are lively and the contributions extremely interesting.

There's a Northern lad on the course - a pensive chap in touch with his feelings. At one point he tells us all that if a man within his social network told his pals he was feeling depressed or even having suicidal thoughts, 95% of them would suggest that they take him down the pub for a pint; and if the depressed man continued in his mood, they would tell him to snap out of it.

Interesting.

I wonder if perhaps I have been too hard on New Boss, who is quite clearly a product of his own upbringing and environment; and surely does not intend to cause upset. Surely.

We cover a lot of ground this first day. One session focuses on what to say if someone tells you they are feeling suicidal. I listen intently, feeling extremely relieved that when I was faced with this situation recently, I apparently responded in an appropriate and supportive manner. I realise that at no point did I feel shocked by what I was told.

It is impossible for me to feel shocked by anything people say after years of Support Group meetings. So why, I wonder, do I still experience such a sense of shock when people are nasty?

The 45 minute lunch break affords me a chance to head back to my desk to eat a sandwich while I scroll through a few emails. Upon leaving the department, I encounter New Boss on the stairs.

"How's your training course going?" he asks me.
I talk about it animatedly for a few minutes.
New Boss grimaces. I think he looks a little strained.

"You'll be assessing me soon" he says. "I'm getting stressed meself".
"I'm sorry to hear that" I say. "What do you think your particular stressors are, New Boss?"
"People" he says. "Just people".

I ask him what he means and he tells me about an issue he is finding particularly frustrating. This is an unusual level of confidence from New Boss, and I make sympathetic noises. (In truth, I do feel quite sympathetic, even though he has failed to honour his promise to me to "sort out the bullying in the department").

As we are on the point of parting, New Boss makes a very illuminating comment. He refers to a potential work outcome making him feel "more crap than he already does".

This from the man who insisted a month ago that he was "always OK" ....?
Hmmmmm.
It doesn't sound like he is having a particularly good day.

I am already keeping a watching brief on two other colleagues I have concerns about.
New Boss has just added himself onto my list.