Blackberry Picking

I used to use the Blackberry "kindly" provided by my employers as an alarm clock.

Which was handy, because this meant that I could start replying to emails at 6.30am, as soon as my eyes opened. And because I never turned the sodding thing off, and leapt for it as soon as the little red light started flashing, my husband developed a violent dislike for it.

One Sunday afternoon, he removed it from my hand and took it into the bathroom, locking the door. All I could hear was a flushing sound and Husband saying triumphantly "that's got rid of you, you little b******".

It was his idea of a joke.
Ha ha ha.

One of the first things I changed when I returned to work after my Mental Health Episode (5 weeks off work for "stress due to work-related bullying" and "work-related stress") was my relationship with Blackberry. I began to limit the period I used it, eventually achieving a comfortable parallel with my working hours (only switching it on at 9am, switching it off on the bus as I headed home, not using it at weekends, and never EVER taking it away on holiday).

It took about two months to retrain senior officers and councillors not to expect an immediate reply to their late night and early morning enquiries, but the sky didn't fall in and eventually they adapted.

I've maintained a healthy relationship with Blackberry ever since, but there are times when it actually suits me to use it out of hours. I pick these exceptions carefully, but the one I find most valuable is looking through emails on the evening prior to returning to work after any length of absence.

I want to know what is waiting for me, you understand.

Tonight, I switch it on and rapidly categorise the queries into priority order so I know what tasks I will be undertaking first thing tomorrow. But I am distracted by a whole series of emails circulating between members of my team, debating what to get Politician's Daughter as a present following the birth of her child.

Now I rejoice in the safe arrival of a baby as much as anyone, and am perfectly happy to contribute to the collection which is now being mounted. But I cannot help but notice the wording.

The discussion has been initiated by Ex-Army Man and the office sociopath Remora. And as the discussion progresses, I register the repeated emphasis upon the fact that everyone else in my team was a guest at Politician's Daughter's wedding. Everyone except me.

And I am reminded of the fact that everyone else in my team was invited to Stylish Female Colleague's wedding except me. That everyone was invited to Satirical Colleague's leaving lunch except me. And that everyone was invited to numerous office "socials" and shindigs.

Except me.

Being systematically socially ostracised by a group of bullying colleagues, after years of being normally included, was a horribly upsetting and humiliating experience. And I have learned that if I react to their exclusion, it makes matters even worse.

But thanks to my Blackberry, I have had a preview of what lies in store tomorrow and can prepare my response. So I practice my DILLIC ("Do I Look Like I Care?") expression in the mirror, give advance thought to some friendly phraseology appropriate for the New Baby card, and make sure I have a tenner in my purse for the collection.

Ironically, invitations for office socials have suddenly started coming my way. This is such a startling change, that it would appear there has been a nervous directive from on high as a result of my grievance.

But the bullies have nothing to worry about!
I'm not going to rock the status quo.

The odds of me accepting one of their invitations are approximately 1,000,000 to 1.