I pay a brief visit to the Town Hall as I need to collect some post. I've been avoiding our department for a week, because last time I went over the only people in the office were The Jackals (a horribly unexpected encounter which left me gripped with anxiety).
Not for the first time, I experience a peculiar sense of disconnection from my own department.
There are, of course, logical reasons for this. We are temporarily housed in another part of the building pending our Grand Office Move - so no-one can find anything, and my poor colleagues continually squawk "where's the guillotine?" "where's the post tray?" "where's the signing in book?" like a flock of demented seagulls.
Additionally, I have journeyed over on a slow bus while engrossed in "Master and Commander", so it is a sensory shock to be jolted from the deck of the Sophie as she plies the route between Port Mahon and Cagliari, to the grim reality of the Town Hall (although the latter's over-crowded conditions, and the notices advising that our office is currently being treated for a flea infestation, do seem to offer a few environmental similarities..)
There's someone sitting at one of the hot desks as I walk in. Someone I have never seen before. Young, female, pretty. ??? Um .... I rack my brains. I delete about 80% of my emails now, giving them no more than a cursory glance, but in the dim recesses of my consciousness I seem to recall one advising that we have taken on an intern. Her name is.... I sit and think for some minutes, until it pops up amid the mental flotsam and jetsam, then go and introduce myself.
She seems very nice. I do hope we are not exploiting her.
(I once had a conversation with Former Boss during which he told me we were planning to keep an intern on for six months. I said "that's terrible! We can't keep someone on for six months and not pay them!" Whereupon Former Boss said "oh, they are all willing to do that, they are desperate to get work" and I said faintly - and pointlessly - "but that doesn't mean we should take advantage of their desperation....")
Apart from our new intern, I am pleased to see that Private Colleague has returned from holiday. Private Colleague who recently opened my eyes to the world of Twitter and @bulliedbyboss. I pass by Private Colleague and say hello, but her conversation is as minimal and constrained as my own. Because standing close to her, like the spectre at the feast, is Spiteful Manager.
If Spiteful Manager's actions were made public, people would find it hard to countenance that a man well into his 50's, a husband and father, and a senior manager paid £70k a year to remain in the employ of Anonymous Council, could conduct himself so shabbily and shamefully. But he doesn't need to worry! Anonymous Council is making very sure that no-one will ever know.
So it is a strange, brief, visit to a place which is becoming more and more distant from my daily life. I am actually starting to feel as if I am not fully present during many of my interactions with others; that I am adopting my Stepford Employee persona with ever-greater facility, while Real Woman takes a willing back seat and has a little rest, and a metaphorical cup of tea and a biscuit.
After my Town Hall visit, I return to the part of the Borough I work in, and meet up with Rebecca - one of the many inspirational people from the local community I have forged bonds with, and who now represent my primary working partners. We spend an hour together, laughing and joking, while simultaneously moving a project forward in successful leaps and bounds.
Rebecca and I seem to have no difficulty treating each other with mutual respect, valuing each other's qualities and talents, and working together in harmonious partnership.
When I was planning my big career change 15 years ago, I wrote a list of the things which most mattered to me. Very near the top of the list, I wrote "work with people I like and respect".
Fortunately I have achieved that.
I work with lots of people I like and respect.
And who like and respect me.
It would just be so nice if some of them were my managers.
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