After the gruelling mediation session, I hide in the loo until Line Manager has gone; and then return to the Town Hall via one of the coffee chains where I have fortified myself with a major caffeine hit. My brain is still desperately endeavouring to process all that has just happened, but as I pass New Boss's door I know better than to reveal the slightest iota of agitation....
"Hi New Boss!" I say sweetly as I pop my head inside the door. "Did you have a nice holiday?"
Stepford Employee would walk on at this point, except that New Boss skews his head round to study me. My dress (short) my hair (fluffy) and my demeanour (lighthearted and positively girlish!) clearly find favour; because at this point he actually stops tapping at his keyboard and settles back in his Big Comfy Chair.
Magnanimously ushering me within, New Boss tells me all about his recent trip to Continental climes, including the fact that he attended a cultural event featuring opera (my predilection for such amusements being the convenient hook upon which he hangs the entire conversation).
"Oh!" I say. "How lovely".
(I am, in truth, quite envious of New Boss's cultural experience; although he confesses that he only stuck it out for the first half. Philistine).
"How are you?" he enquires as an afterthought.
- Do I tell New Boss that it's a wonder I am still on my feet after being "mediated" half to death ?
- Do I say "well, you know that anxiety I was telling you I am suffering from? It's still there" ??
- Do I tell him that it is by the sheerest effort of will that I am even able to set foot in his ghastly department ???
Not on your nelly.
When Husband and I were travelling in the States once , we kept seeing people wearing wristbands with WWJD on them ("What Would Jesus Do?").
The public sector version reads WWSED or "What Would Stepford Employee Do?" !!
The answer isn't hard to find. Stepford Employee recognises that Managers aren't the slightest bit interested in the well being of their staff, and all that Managers really really want is the total absence of problems. So I utter the only answer a good Stepford Employee can make. The strategic answer.
"Fine, thanks!" I say. "I am absolutely fine".
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