It's Good to Talk

I haven't met up with Sue Inner Circle for almost a fortnight. We were meant to go and see a film together 2 weeks ago, but at the last minute she called to say all her travel arrangements were up the spout, and so we met for a coffee instead. Looking back on it, everything worked out as it was meant to. Because in fact she was upset about a few things and needed to talk.

Our relationship is far from being one-sided. Sue Inner Circle is the person I was with when I happened to see Spiteful Manager in the far distance (I was off sick suffering from chronic stress, and by ill luck we had decided to go and see a film in a cinema a tad too close to the Town Hall). Sue Inner Circle steadied me as I almost had a panic attack on the escalator, and looked after me as sensitively as if I had been her own child. She never, at any point, said "that's just silly".

So last night we met in an attractive bistro between both our homes, and enjoyed a lovely long chat over endless cups of Earl Grey. Sue has lost a stone and is looking really good - healthy and glowing. We catch up on each other's news, discuss our respective work situations, and I tell her about the play.

One of our shared characteristics is that we are both very sensitive. So when Sue appears less than enthusiastic about my news, I start to wonder if I have upset her by not telling her about it until it was all over. I explain that I just didn't want anyone to come and see me this first time because it has been so long since I got up on a stage, and she says "of course, I completely understand". But I still feel faintly worried about it.

Later, while sitting in a Support Group meeting (without Sue, who is a regular attender at the 7am meeting instead), I keep thinking about the conversation and whether or not I have upset her. Because I would absolutely hate to do that.

Sue rings me today, full of excitement about an unexpected success she has had at work. I feel really pleased for her, as she shares all the details with me. I ask her if she was upset by the discussion last night, and she sounds baffled. I realise that she was probably just not that interested (in the nicest possible way! After all, her new passion is learning to play classical guitar; and I probably only asked her two or three things about that before we changed subjects).

Yet again, I am reminded of the dangers of doing other people's thinking for them....

"I really do love you" she says as she rings off. I tell her I love her too.

It's so wonderful to have friends.
Real friends. Who only want the best for you.