The Swish of the Curtain

Back in London and back to rehearsals. It's the first time the entire cast has got together, rather than working on scenes in separate groups, and for the first time we can see how the whole play is assembled.

It's also the first time we have had a chance to perform on stage as opposed to in a motley assortment of rehearsal rooms.

It's been 25 years since I acted on stage - one of the reasons why I have been careful not to tell anyone I am doing this. I am being evasive with friends who wonder why I am not as available as usual; and I suspect the only audience member I know will turn out to be my mother (bless her). Even my husband has been dissuaded - which I suspect suits him, as amateur theatricals are not really his cup of tea.

But oh ! they are very much MY cup of tea.
I have loved acting ever since I was a child.

When I first set foot in this particular theatre, I felt totally overwhelmed by the feelings of nostalgia and familiarity. And I also felt very sad that I had waited so long to come home. It is my very own Blue Door Theatre Company come to life, populated by older versions of Maddy, Vicky, Lyn and Sandra; and Nigel, Jeremy and Bulldog. People with full time jobs appear to be devoting every spare minute to directing, producing, building sets and rigging lights. I am surrounded by total commitment and dedication. And people who wear extremely interesting clothes !! (I continue to play it safe in jeans...)

There is a social side of this activity but much as I like this group of people, I never hang about after rehearsals as this tends to involve going for a drink. I prefer to say my goodbyes and head off home, or to a meeting of my support group. This doesn't seem to present any impediment to my popularity - I get the feeling that these people like me well enough; just as I like them. It's really pretty easy to get on with people.

Once again, I find myself making the comparison with my work place, and the bewildering way The Jackals suddenly decided to make me the target of their venom.

Am I just working within an environment which is wrong for me? Was I insane to abandon the creative life entirely? Am I simply a fish out of water?

A Fish is who looking for her Swish.....???