Stepford Employee Unadulterated

Cripes. I might be a better Stepford Employee than I think I am! Because my ability to think one thing, while manifesting another, is already pretty damn good it would seem.

To wit: New Boss commented to me that he could not believe I felt any dislike of Spiteful Manager (someone whose ghastly behaviour towards me is proven) "because you have sent him quite friendly emails in the past".

This reminds me of the time before Christmas when Former Boss said to me "I can't believe you feel uncomfortable under Line Manager's command, because I have seen you both together and you seemed fine."

Sheesh. What do these people actually expect?
That I am going to utter the words running through my brain completely unedited ????

Do they really imagine that when I send Spiteful Manager an email, I am going to preface it "Hi Bitch" ?

Or that when Line Manager starts speaking to me, I am going to run out of the door screaming "I can't endure another second in your feckless hypocritical presence"?

Of course not, you blimmin' eejits. At work, I try to conduct myself with a modicum of professionalism and self-discipline. But (as I used to attempt to explain to Former Boss) this does not mean I am an automaton.

Yes, when things got particularly distressing, I foolishly and fruitlessly used to try and explain to "management" that my professional cool exterior was not - extraordinarily - an accurate reflection of what was going on inside me. It was a bit like trying to explain how a mobile phone works to my mother...

Herewith today's lesson. MANAGERS ARE NOT INTERESTED IN HOW YOU FEEL.

So from now on, it will be pure unadulterated Stepford Employee. Maintaining a friendly, professional, unemotional facade; and resisting any efforts to entice Real Woman out of the closet.

Real Woman likes it in the closet.
Real Woman wants to stay there.
Real Woman is locking the door.