Heartfelt Prayers

Cometh the hour, cometh the man !

Ex-Army Man - personally selected by New Boss to organise our office relocation - is reaching the apogee of his mission because the day of the Great Removal is at hand !!!

Entrusting this task to Ex-Army Man has had a disastrous effect upon his personality. It has turned him from an averagely irritating co-worker into a power-crazed tyrant who has a clipboard permanently wedged under his armpit. As a result I now have a secret name for New Boss - Frank. As in Dr Frankenstein. Because New Boss is solely responsible for bringing this monster to life.

At the end of the day, I am typing away industriously when I become dimly aware that a dispute is arising in the office. A dispute involving Ex-Army Man. The dialogue goes like this:

Life Coach Colleague: Ex-Army Man, could this crate please be moved over to Room ***.
Ex-Army Man: Why are you asking me?
LCC: Well, because you are in charge of the office move.
EAM: I'm too busy to talk to you at the moment.
LCC: Oh. Well, who should I talk to about it?
EAM: Aren't you listening to me? I am too busy right now.
LCC: (to the room in general) Does anyone have any Sellotape?
EAM: (getting up from his seat) Why don't you use a stapler? (He has one in his hand, and bangs it repeatedly onto the papers which LCC is trying to secure).
LCC: You didn't need to do that, I was sorting it out myself.
EAM: Ah, well you need to think outside the box.
LCC: Do you think I don't think outside the box then?
EAM: Well some of us have it and some of us don't.
LCC: What did you say?
EAM: Some of us have it and some of us don't.
LCC: That's very rude. I don't see why you have to be so insulting.
EAM: Be quiet.
LCC: Sorry?
EAM: (very loudly) BE QUIET !

At this point, the sense of imminent danger is so great that I am unable to stand any more...

I say quietly:
"Ex-Army Man, Ex-Army Man, Ex-Army Man..."
(I don't, of course, use these exact words. I say "Pete, Pete, Pete" only using his real name).

And I put out my hand and touch Life Coach Colleague gently on the arm, warningly.

And miraculously, things calm down.

Miraculously, because our department is riddled with tensions, and interpersonal problems, and resentments. And it is from such tetchy little interchanges that things have been known to escalate into Massive Screaming Matches....

There's been enough drama in my working life during the past year.
I can't actually cope with any more, even if it isn't mine.

Lord, make me a channel of Thy peace.
And please get this sodding office move over as quickly as You possibly can.
Thank You.