Thanks Where Thanks Are Due...

I am approaching our new office in the Town Hall from an atypical direction, when my feet take me past a familiar-looking door. I suddenly remember that this is where I came to meet with my union representative when I first raised my complaint against Line Manager.

My union rep is a hard-working and dedicated individual who, despite the usual strictures imposed by the fact that he is actually employed by my organisation, does his very best to protect the interests of the staff. He is a very decent bloke.

I tap gently on his door, just in case he is in the middle of a meeting with another of Anonymous Council's beleaguered members of staff (not for nothing does Union Rep have a box of tissues prominently on his desk). But he isn't, because I hear him call out "come in".

I peep round the door, and when he sees who it is, I cannot help but notice that he looks slightly perturbed.

"I'm sorry to appear unannounced," I say. "It's just that I don't think I ever really properly thanked you for all the support and help you gave me during the lead up to the disciplinary hearing. And on the day itself. I didn't get the chance at the time, because I'm not sure if you know that I was signed off work two days later". 

I can hear my voice is starting to wobble, and I fight to keep it under control.

Union Rep is nodding gravely.

"Yes, I did know that," he says.

"I was off for five weeks," I tell him. "And I know I should have come to see you as soon as I came back to work, but by then I was trying so hard to keep things together, that I couldn't face seeing anyone who had been involved with it all. I'm so sorry. I know I should have come to see you earlier. But I just wanted you to know that I am very grateful for everything you did for me".

I really am struggling to control the wobble now, and so I have to stop talking so that I don't suddenly burst into floods of unexpected and uncontrollable tears. Union Rep pushes a chair towards me, and with a gesture invites me to sit down. I make a few noises about him being too busy and that I must be disturbing him, but he waves his hands dismissively.

"It's nice to be thanked," he says. "I appreciate that. Not many people bother to come and thank me, to be honest".

I feel guilty that for months I have appeared to be one of the people who fall into the "ungrateful" category. 

"How are you, Katharine?" he says, searching my face. His expression is very kind. "How are you - really?"

"I've been back at work for months now" I tell him. "I still find it very hard sometimes, but I am just trying to get on with things. But ...(suddenly the truth is dawning on me) ....I think I came back to work too soon. I don't think five weeks was long enough. But I was in the middle of running a programme and I just felt I needed to come back". 

"How are things in the office?" he asks. "How are things with Line Manager?"

"We have put some new protocols in place" I say. "They seem to be working. He is always polite to me these days." 

"And your colleagues?" adds Union Rep. "How are they behaving towards you?"
"I have some lovely colleagues," I say in heartfelt tones. "They are very supportive towards me. The bullies are still there, of course. But a lot of the behaviour has gone underground now. And honestly - that's much easier to deal with. If I just focus on the work, and get on with things, then I can cope."

Twenty minutes later, I am still in Union Rep's office. He has told me all about the endless redundancy meetings he is having to sit through, how anxious he sometimes feels, about his outside interests (we know a lot of the same people, as we live in the same part of the Borough) and he even lends me a novel he has just finished reading. It is lovely to spend time with him as a person; rather than the pair of us pouring over Investigative Reports, and Policies, and Procedures. We part on extremely friendly terms and for the rest of the day, I feel very at peace.

I once asked a work experience student, who had been assigned to me, to type the words "thank you", joking that I was going to time her. She was a bright girl and so I didn't need to show her the results to gently make my point (her failure to acknowledge others' help had really started to grate on people), but the wonderful thing was that when she had finished her time with us and was asked what she had gained from the experience, she said that the most important thing she had learned was what Katharine had shown her - that it took very little time and effort to be polite.

I do feel a little ashamed that I failed to observe my own philosophy for so long, but better late than never.