"Well, thank you SO much for telling me how to manage my staff, Katharine. Of course you are such a good manager, aren't you? What a pity we can't all be as good a manager as you".
These words were uttered by Line Manager in September 2011. That very day, news had come through of a significant success for my organisation as a direct result of my work, and yet Line Manager had not said a single word to me about it. So at the end of a conversation about something completely different, I politely asked him if he had any comments to make.
Husband later asked me why I had bothered raising the topic. After all, Line Manager's total failure to offer me appropriate managerial support was nothing new. He had already spent 18 months engaging in a range of actions designed to undermine me and my work, including removing reports from my desk, going into my files to obtain photographs and documents without asking me, not passing on compliments about me from others, never EVER crediting me for my efforts, and regularly employing his favourite mode of communication - sarcasm - to "put me down".
Now here I was, experiencing the full brunt of Line Manager's sarcasm! Which, if it had been hissed sotto voce, he would probably have got away with. Yet again..
But this time something different happened.
On this occasion, Line Manager was completely unable to restrain himself.
Scarlet in the face, and with the veins standing out in stark relief on his neck, he shouted the phrases cited above whilst towering over me. I admit it - I was scared. I immediately turned and left his office; whereupon he followed me out into the main office and continued shouting at me.
I said: "I am not going to have an argument with you in the open office" and turning away from him, sat down at my hotdesk. I did this, because for a few terrifying seconds I thought Line Manager was about to hit me and at that point I would have done anything to diffuse the situation. Line Manager blustered for a few more seconds then (thankfully) stopped shouting. Thankfully, because at this point the office contained not only a number of other members of my department, but a new member of staff who had only started the previous day, and an 18 year old intern. Both of whom were looking (unsurprisingly) shocked and embarrassed.
It was this incident which finally tripped a switch in my brain.
The switch which said "enough".
Over a year has passed since that incident, and I am now walking through a new landscape. Because despite The Hierarchy's repeated assertions that everything can go back to how it was before, I know that things will never be the same again.
As part of the process of psychological recovery from the incident (relatively easy) and Anonymous Council's protracted, inadequate and damaging grievance procedures (horrendously difficult), I undertake a huge clear out of my office, throwing away several years' worth of redundant papers, reports and project files. And suddenly I come across a folder containing research for my ILM Certificate in Management (Level 5) which Anonymous Council paid for, back in the days when they presumably imagined that I had potential for development.
As part of this, I was required to seek feedback from senior officers, as well as staff I had managed. I flip through the senior officers' feedback and remember that every single one of them gave me the maximum score for the statement "she bases her approach to others around honesty and respect".
I start to feel a bit weepy.
I then read through the comments from the staff I had managed up until that ILM submission, as well as the completed questionnaires I have given to all subsequent assistants after they have finished working with me. And here are some of the comments I see:
- "Really enjoyed working with you, thanks Katharine for keeping me involved and busy"
- "I was really impressed by Katharine's style of managing. From our first meeting, she made me feel like I was part of her team and gave me plenty of responsibility while I was working with her".
- "I gave a score of 4/5 for 'acts within limits of their authority' because in some ways I didn't feel like she was my manager - I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing though, as I feel I worked harder knowing she trusted me to get on with the work"
- "I really enjoyed working for Katharine. I felt very supported and appreciated in the role".
- "Katharine was good at taking the time to help me understand new tasks and introducing me to other members of staff. She was very professional, organised and efficient".
- "Overall, a lovely boss!"
- "I cannot sum up all that I have learned. This was my first work experience, and what a great experience! Katharine has been very supportive and empowering and I am thankful to her for gradually letting me do more and more'.
- "I will certainly not find in the future such a dedicated and helpful and great manager as you".
As I leaf through the pages, I let the guard which I have erected for the past year slip for a little more. If the truth be told, I sit crying on my office carpet for 10 minutes before I finally manage to pull myself together. And I feel huge gratitude to all those former assistants of mine, who took the time to give me such detailed and generous feedback. Because they didn't have to. They had already left Anonymous Council's employ.
Then I think about Line Manager.
And I wonder what I, or anyone else on his team, would say about Line Manager if he were ever to ask us for honest and constructive feedback?
But he never has asked us.
So I don't suppose he will never know.
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