Heck, I could have told them all
that for free.
Maybe I should volunteer to be a
Case Study? Because two years ago I was acknowledged to be the highest
performer in my department; a status reflected in my annual Performance Pay and
even a Special Recognition Payment. These days, sadly, I am jaundiced to a deep
shade of ochre. But I am actually grateful for the experiences I have had over
the past year (a depressing saga I can't be arsed to rehearse even on my own
blog - even though at this point in time NO-ONE IS READING IT BUT
ME...!!)
Yes, I am grateful. Because if these
things hadn't happened, I might still be working a 60 hour week, chasing the
occasional pat on the back from senior managers (doled out in the manner of a
City Boy throwing a couple of quid to a Big Issue seller), seeking affirmation
and identity through my work, and neglecting every other aspect of my life
despite these all being so infinitely more deserving of my time and attention.
But it's OK now.
I've finally woken up and smelled
the coffee.
This week I attend a Feedback
Session about the Staff Survey results along with about 80 other members of
staff from across our Directorate. Gosh. Not a bad turn out - and it turns out
that everyone has plenty to say. The Chief Executive, who appears to have
initiated this exercise, wears an affable but determined expression; our
Director has obviously been practising his solemn expression in the mirror. My
New Boss happens to be sitting right in my line of vision - and golly! He looks
positively grim.
Hmm. He may now be regretting his
words to me - during our third meeting - that he had no intention of having
one-to-one discussions with staff (something I suggested we all might find
helpful) because he would only be communicating with the two managers below
him. "That is what a hierarchy means" he helpfully informed me at the
time. Saved me looking the word up, so that was jolly useful.
Yes, he may well now be regretting
his insistence that he would be establishing a rigid hierarchical structure -
and possibly also the fact that ever since he arrived he has kept his
office door firmly closed in the face of all his staff - because our Director
is now using words like 'transparency' 'communication' 'acknowledgement for
work well done' and 'transformation'.
Bloody hell. We've forgotten what
those words mean. Maybe a dictionary will come in handy after all !
I am wearing a dress. Colourful,
short, feminine. Almost "floaty" if I swirl round fast enough (not to
be attempted unless in the safety of one's own home, obviously). I sit at a
table near the front, and manage to get through all the presentations without
heckling. From time to time I even remember to smile.
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